Yesterday was my birthday.
It started out great. When I arrived at work, there was a pink banner that said “Princess Party” and some cardboard cakes taped to my walls. I have always said that I am not the biggest “birthday person”, but I think the truth of it is that it is really nice when people remember your birthday. On Facebook, I had a ton of people write Happy Birthday on my wall. I could not believe how many people took the time to do that. It was a lot of people…kinda cool. (Thank you!)
It made me think. I want to do more for people because this feels really nice when people do it for me.
Later in the day, I had a bit of a birthday meltdown. I wanted my own family to treat me really special on my birthday like everyone else had done. For years, I have been telling everyone that I am not a “birthday person” and have instructed people to not go all out.
Yesterday I decided that I am a birthday person.
I want fanfare. I want special treatment. After much sulking and general crankiness, I realized that I had made my own bed that I was now lying in. I have always told people not to do anything special. I had underplayed myself and been a martyr.
Yuck! No more!
I spent a lot of time last night reflecting on this. If this is my mirror, what am I doing that is creating this general birthday apathy? I must look internally for answers. For starters, I do not go out of my way to say happy birthday to people on Facebook. I don’t think of special things to surprise my friends with as often as I would like to say I do. I do stuff for people, but for all the wrong reasons sometimes. I use guilt and martyrdom occasionally and I hate that crap.
This was a very humbling insight.
I understand that my perception of the world around me is a reflection of what I am putting out in the world. My family is my mirror. Who have I been for my family? This day was a big lesson day for me. I need to polish my own mirror!
Next week, I am off on a camping vacation with my family which consists of my three sisters and their families and my parents. (Of course, my husband and daughter will be joining me too!) I think that this will be a week of finding out what I can do for my family. I want to listen to them and see where I can be better for them. Time to take a look in the mirror and see what I can make better from the inside out!
Have you had any humbling moments you want to share? Please do so in the comments below!
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HAPPY (belated) BIRTHDAY! I know what you mean about meaning what you say
. Hopefully next year your family will surprise you with a party.
Nanette Levin recently posted..Writing tips and candid commentary from Elizabeth Gilbert
Ha, Nanette! Not sure if I am quite ready to go THAT far! lol…
I know what you mean! I’ve maintained for years that WE make a day special, that a certain doesn’t inherently mean I get spoiled, or whatever. But, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve realized that I want to be treated special, as you noted above. I had hopes that I’d be surprised by hubby or daughter doing something super awesome (not a party, I’m like you, I doubt I’d appreciate a surprise party…)for me that day, and while I never said anything, I was let down when it didn’t happen.
I’ve definitely done the things you’ve mentioned – I work on finding things I can do for others, which is fabulously satisfying, and I’ve gradually let hubs know that yes, I would like to be spoiled a tiny bit. It’s a work in progress, but progress can be made!
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Hi Kristin! Yes, we do need to take care of ourselves, birthday and otherwise! I just had a friend treat me to lunch today and my husband and daughter took me out to dinner the next night so all is good in the world of birthdaydom. Thanks for stopping by and participating!
Hi Amy!
I totally resonate with the piece about making your own bed and lying in it! We definitely create all that is in our lives – and yes, exactly, our loved ones are our mirrors!
Great article – and an important reminder to be aware and intentional in our every thought, feeling and action!
Peace,
Astra
Hi Astra,
I am excited that you stopped by. Lisa Selow is awesome and I am super psyched for her new book to come out. In fact, one of my goals today is to work on a little piece for her ebook that she is putting out as a little giftie! How fun! Us super cool rebel chicks need to stick together, ya know?
Absolutely Amy! Let’s stick together! I am doing a piece for her ebook as well – YAY!
Astra Spider recently posted..To Get What You Want, Love What You Have
I figured you were! That is awesome. I just sent it off and I am so happy with what it came out like. I just llllloooovee writing!
DUDE, I know, I so totally love writing as well!! Words are the bomb!!
Astra Spider recently posted..To Get What You Want, Love What You Have
Hmmm…..I am getting a brainstorm….something about a Write Your Spirit Free program. Hmmmm!!!!
Astra Spider recently posted..To Get What You Want, Love What You Have
That is cool. A writing program for spirit minded bloggers?
Oooooo I am liking that!!
Fab idea….let’s simmer with it overnight! 
Astra Spider recently posted..To Get What You Want, Love What You Have