A Tribute to Loving Myself

10404475_10204047393158745_5961978349505028603_n

My friend, Michele Bergh, posted a blogging challenge for us to write about self-love. In typical UN-self-loving fashion, I ignored it. (giggle)

Loving myself? That’s kinda cheesy, isn’t it? Where’s my unicorn stuffed animal? (My inner critic rages at this idea of “self-love”, so I know we’ve really got something here!) Kinda like the conversation I had with my sister the other day… We were talking about the SoulSpace group (what else?) and about how she put that dang post on there about my being the group’s fearless leader and how everyone should write a note to me about how much they love me. Something like that… And I wrote a comment on there that asked for people to please stop writing these little sweet comments because every time they did, it brought a gigantic photo of me up to the top of the feed. Not that it was a BAD photo, it was just a little embarrassing. We were also talking about my upcoming interview with Xorin Balbes, so she points out how silly it would sound if Xorin asked us to please not write all those nice things about him. She had a point. Dang her…

I DO love myself. I am a freakin’ LEO, for Christ’s sake. But life’s too dang busy with real stuff to take time to LOVE MYSELF. {Eyes rolling}

OK, OK. This is an article about self-love. Hmmm. And this week’s topic on the SoulSpace board is ELEVATE, which means to spoil yourself with sweet little things like bubble baths and spending the day in bed re-reading 50 Shades of Gray. Or do like Naomi did and make it a new commitment to take life easy. If I listen to Xorin’s advice, (which who wouldn’t after listening to his interview?), I would have to make sure to build in space to take a BREATH now and again.

So, uh, what am I going to write about self-love? Get to the point, sister!

OK. Here’s this. So, later in that conversation with Kim, we talked about this interview with Xorin and how both Kristin and Kim said (on separate occasions) that this (the book club, the interview) was my life’s work. I wondered what they meant by that. How is this stuff related to my life’s work? So Kim went on to say something to the effect that my role has always been to pump up the people around me and make them shine. Something in me IS rather good at finding that gem in people and bringing it to light. This is definitely true. She went on to say that this SoulSpace group could never have even happened if it weren’t for me and that this interview most certainly would never have happened and that Xorin is probably not the sort of guy to start a dang book club to study his book but that this group has changed the lives of so many people that we don’t even know the repercussions of that. That is pretty dang cool. She went on to say that she wanted to recognize ME the way that I have always recognized others in similar fashion. I got it. And I even felt a little embarrassed for asking people to not comment on my loveliness.

I think what generally stops me in all that is that it feels embarrassing to highlight myself. Yeah, I know I do good stuff, but I do NOT need to be all in people’s faces about what I did. That is kinda gross to me. As a Leo, I do want the spotlight, true. So there’s always been this duality there. I can’t stand people that gloat about themselves. It’s an ugly move and it usually comes across as weak in my mind. Who wants to sit and listen to a gloater?

The thing is, we ALL have amazing talents. One thing that I’ve learned from studying a bit about Xorin’s life (and several other big players I’ve had the amazing good fortune to meet) is that I want to live a bigger life. Mine’s a bit too small for my tastes, but I haven’t yet learned (like Xorin) how to make it bigger without driving myself into an early grave). But I also learned that celebrating life’s accomplishments is very important, as my dear friend Michele Bergh often reminds me.

As I look back on my own life and my accomplishments, I DO feel proud of myself. I am proud of having the balls to ask Xorin for that interview. I am proud that I’ve had the balls to ask lots of great and amazing people for interviews – especially Deng Ming-Dao and Robert Kull, two of my all-time favorite interviews. I am proud that Jonathan Star gave me the nod on my blog when he is one of my Tao Te Ching heroes. I’m proud that Hua Ching Ni (Master NI) is someone that I have considered a very dear personal friend. I’m proud that Pace Smith is someone I could call up and hang with next time that I am in Portland. I have lots of things that I am proud of.

I’m glad that I have the heart to WANT to live a big life and that I have the confidence to think I can actually pull it off somehow. I am glad that I am humble enough to be real and yet bold enough to swing for the fences. I love that about myself. I am proud of the fact that I have the most sublime choice of companionship of anyone in the world and that it includes my incredible family, my sweet daughter, my fabulous spouse and my dear sweet friends who I would mention by name but would feel that naming each one would cause too much anxiety at the dread of leaving out one single one. They are all incredibly special to me. You know who you are because I spend time with you. I am rather reclusive otherwise.

So that is me. I am just like you, but your list just looks a bit different than mine. What are you proud of? Tell us about it in the comments! Be BOLD and WRITE something!

 

6 Comments

  1. I so love this! You took the challenge and conquered it. I want to give you a fist bump right now 😉
    Michele Bergh recently posted…Be Inspired U Group on FacebookMy Profile

  2. love it Amy!!! you have so much to be proud of!!! You will keep growing – i just know it! I’m thankful I connected with such a great group of women here on Facebook! I have learned and will continue to learn so much from you guys as we all learn to live that “bigger” (which I’m sure has different definitions for all of us) together

  3. Good job, Ame. You do have a lot to be proud of. I’m proud to be my best self today, and still learning and improving from the inside out after 45 years on this planet. That is also something I admire about you, Ame, always learning and making our little corners of the world a wee bit better.

    • Aww, thanks Kristin. I read this a few days ago, but just realized I did not respond. I was just telling Tatia last night how wonderful it has been to reconnect with you this last year. We were talking about good friends and I would count you as one of the best.
      amy recently posted…A Tribute to Loving MyselfMy Profile

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

CommentLuv badge