This post is #31 of 64 hexagrams in a series of posts about the I Ching, an ancient Taoist text that has many ties to the Tao Te Ching. For those of you new to this series, you may want to start by reading my post called “What is a Hexagram?” that helps to explain more about the general idea of the I Ching. If you are just starting this series, you may want to take a look at some of my other posts on the I Ching.
If you’ve been following my blog lately, you may know that I am now offering personal I Ching readings for my readers. If you are interested in getting a reading done, please see my I Ching Readings page and we can set something up for you. I Ching readings are good for helping you navigate those tricky parts in life.
Ah, young love…
As I read this chapter, I thought about myself as a teenager and how challenging it was as a young strong woman to manage the affairs of the heart. I did not do so well, in retrospect. I was raised by a mother who was part of the “women’s lib” movement of the 70s in the United States. While she did not actually burn any of her bras, her philosophy was ingrained in me to become a strong woman and I did. I even wrote my entire Tao Te Ching book in the feminine voice as an experiment in what this would feel like. As a mother of a now 14 year old daughter, I am seeing the next generation of this plight on her and how she is facing the subtle inequities of her gender.
As a strong woman, it can be challenging to find the right partner. You want someone who is strong, but you also want someone who is not going to boss you around and treat you like a second class citizen that you most certainly ARE NOT. I dated several guys that were more spiritually-minded but were almost like woman friends more than manly men. I remember my dad said to me once that I should date a football player. I laughed, imagining myself finding not much to say about football.
In the end, I chose Eric. There is never any doubt to Eric’s masculinity, but he is a big softie in the middle and I just love that about him. As far as my being a strong woman, he loves that about me but he also doesn’t take a lot of shit. If he did, I wouldn’t respect him either. We have a good balance. Sometimes I look over when we are watching a sad movie and he’s got tears streaming but I never say anything. He’s very quiet about his softness.
One day, he was writing in his special notebook. A leather-bound one that I had given to him several years ago. He was only about 20 pages into this notebook so I asked him what on earth he writes in there? He only writes really important things in there, he says. And the first 15 pages or so of his notebook are only the deepest thoughts that he synthesized from his previous notebook that he went through when I gave him this one. This is how it is with us. He goes on quietly being the deepest sweetest man that I know and I go on discovering tiny details throughout our years together.
To me, this is what this hexagram is about. It is about that deep love that is found between two people when its true. Yes, there are passionate moments, but the bulk of our marriage is made up of the little lovelies. Those moments when he reminds me why I married him.