If I think of the I Ching as an entity, it should not surprise me how each time I focus on a hexagram it has a perfect relevance to my daily life. Isn’t this how it is supposed to be? In this tenth hexagram of the I Ching, we are focused on the relationship of the father to his younger daughter. I say “younger” because, although I am not the youngest daughter, I am a younger daughter being the third born of four girls in our family.
Last weekend, I got to spend some time with my Dad which is always wonderful. He lives far away and he makes a trek about once a year to come and see his Midwest daughters (one of which lives in Michigan, one in Wisconsin and me in Minnesota). It is quite a trek, but I am always glad to spend time with him. So when I read this hexagram, it had some personal relevance to me in this space of visiting and thinking of my dad.
A father/daughter relationship is unique in that the male yang role (in this case, represented by the Heaven trigram) and the female yin younger daughter role (represented by the Lake trigram) are teaching each other how to be more like the other. I have often felt that my Dad has been a great role model to me for having an “I can do it” attitude. He is always inspiring me to do things that might have seemed overwhelming to me. He was the one who finally convinced me to get off my butt and complete the backsplash in my kitchen last month. For him, all of us daughters have taught him to be more yin. We have taught him to appreciate art and to learn about his emotions. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship.
I also spent some time with my Father-in-Law last weekend, and it was the first time that my father met my husband’s father. They got along famously. It was fun to watch them. Both men have been very good models for me in right conduct, which is the underlying theme of this hexagram. They both are the type of guys that just dig in and get things done instead of fussing about it. They both have very matter-of-fact ways of being in the world that inspires me. (My husband, Eric, does also.) It is this quality that is a mystery to us women, just as that tender quality of women is a mystery to many men.
So hats off to you, guys. Thanks for being there.