I Ching Hexagram #10: Treading Carefully


Me & Eric at the waterfalls in Puerto Rico


If I think of the I Ching as an entity, it should not surprise me how each time I focus on a hexagram it has a perfect relevance to my daily life. Isn’t this how it is supposed to be? In this tenth hexagram of the I Ching, we are focused on the relationship of the father to his younger daughter. I say “younger” because, although I am not the youngest daughter, I am a younger daughter being the third born of four girls in our family.

Last weekend, I got to spend some time with my Dad which is always wonderful. He lives far away and he makes a trek about once a year to come and see his Midwest daughters (one of which lives in Michigan, one in Wisconsin and me in Minnesota). It is quite a trek, but I am always glad to spend time with him. So when I read this hexagram, it had some personal relevance to me in this space of visiting and thinking of my dad.

A father/daughter relationship is unique in that the male yang role (in this case, represented by the Heaven trigram) and the female yin younger daughter role (represented by the Lake trigram) are teaching each other how to be more like the other. I have often felt that my Dad has been a great role model to me for having an “I can do it” attitude. He is always inspiring me to do things that might have seemed overwhelming to me. He was the one who finally convinced me to get off my butt and complete the backsplash in my kitchen last month. For him, all of us daughters have taught him to be more yin. We have taught him to appreciate art and to learn about his emotions. It’s a mutually beneficial relationship.

I also spent some time with my Father-in-Law last weekend, and it was the first time that my father met my husband’s father. They got along famously. It was fun to watch them. Both men have been very good models for me in right conduct, which is the underlying theme of this hexagram. They both are the type of guys that just dig in and get things done instead of fussing about it. They both have very matter-of-fact ways of being in the world that inspires me. (My husband, Eric, does also.) It is this quality that is a mystery to us women, just as that tender quality of women is a mystery to many men.

So hats off to you, guys. Thanks for being there.



  1. What a wonderful picture – you both look quite happy. Love how the hexagram got reflected in “real” life for you – and how wonderful you can see clearly how you and your dad have influenced each other. What a lovely gift to celebrate the matter-of-fact-just-do-it qualities of the men in your life. I know they celebrate you as well.
    Deborah Weber recently posted…Let’s Have Some Friday FlowersMy Profile

    • Puerto Rico is a special place for us. We are hoping to retire there! 🙂 So, yeah, I guess we were happy. We were also happy because we had just walked about 3 miles through the jungle to get there! 😉

  2. Love to learn about your relationship with your Dad- he sounds great. Also so glad to find out that your Father and Father-In-Law got along great! Such fun to hear!
    Amy recently posted…Top 20 Adorable Baby OnesiesMy Profile

    • Thanks for stopping by, Amy. Yes, it was so fun to see them. Eric, my husband, said that he heard stories from his dad that he had never even heard before so it was a special weekend for all of us.

  3. What lovely relationships you are blessed to have with all these wonderful men in your life Amy. Loved your post. xo
    Suzanne recently posted…Buds & Blooms!!My Profile

  4. Yes, so happy to hear of such lovely relationships with men in your life. Cherish and enjoy. Right conduct is modelled to us as women by good men through more ‘matter of fact just doing things’ and vice versa in our tenderness and emotional sensitivity. May the yin and yang be balanced in our inner male and female sides.
    Sherry Marshall recently posted…Sydney Morning Herald Newspaper. Can you make someone fall in love with you?My Profile

    • I do have some good men in my life. It took me some time to get there, but I am ever so grateful that they are all with me. My father-in-law is my card playing partner whenever we get together. We have a good relationship.

  5. How special to get to spend that time with your dad and father-in-law. It’s so cool they got along so well and had so much in common. You truly have a blessed life 🙂
    Michele Bergh recently posted…Every Great DreamMy Profile

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