This is part 5 of a series on Stillness. To read the other parts, please visit our Stillness Page.
This series on stillness is the second series in our Tao Te Ching Exploration Project. Throughout this project, we will be discussing some of the basic principles brought up throughout the Tao Te Ching. The principles we will cover are Awareness, Stillness, Discipline, Humility, Flexibility, Consistency, Connection, Service and Leadership. I am sure that there are many other principles that have been discussed throughout the text, but these are the nine topics that I am choosing to focus on over the next several months.
I relate to each principle by focusing our attention on each of the nine chakras, based on the Q’ero Shamans’ chakra system that is explained in depth in Dr. Alberto Villoldo’s book, Shaman, Healer, Sage
I hope that you are enjoying the series and will continue to explore with us throughout the rest of the project.
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The Fifth Chakra: Communication
At first glance, I kinda laughed at stillness and communication. They almost seem like opposites. There are a lot of ways to think of this. I often think of stillness and silence together so the first thing that comes to mind is silent communication.
Stillness in communication can be about just waiting to speak.
Just take time to speak. Take space between your words to really formulate what you want to say. I always admire people that don’t talk. There is something amazing about people that can do that. I talk a lot, usually. There are many different reasons for someone not speaking. Often times, it is trauma. But sometimes, they just don’t want to. Many people can speak, but just choose not to.
I think the whole world should try not talking for a day.
~Julianna Margulies
I just think people absorb so much more when they don’t speak. We may assume that because people are not speaking that they are not understanding, but they do. Same with animals. Animals understand things on an entirely different level and very little of their communication revolves around speech often times. Animals are not as talkative. Birds certainly talk a lot. Trees and plants are silent. I look at the energy of silence. Silence holds a kind of quiet soft energy.
Stillness and silence are not the same thing.
Stillness for me is about really letting the space be quiet and still. One time I went on a business trip with this co-worker who was kind of a quiet guy. We didn’t know each other very well, so we didn’t really have a lot to talk about. After a couple of minutes of idle chatter, we fell into a silence but it wasn’t a pregnant silence like it normally would be in a social situation. We just did not say a single word most of the trip. It was a four hour drive. I marveled at it, but it was kind of nice. It was just silent and we were both able to do our own things. Stillness can be there. You can just let it be present in the space.
Silence is part of your communication.
If you don’t respond to something, you are communicating. Sometimes that is good and sometimes it is bad. Sometimes you don’t respond because someone is trying to manipulate you. That can be a positive thing and it can be a very powerful way of communicating. In the negative sense, you may cause some problems by not responding to them because they may assume the worst.
Try silence.
My husband and I have both tried some silent days. This reminds me that I would like to try it again. It is like a fast, but with words. You just go silent. We are talking about buying some land a few years down the road for our retirement and one of the reasons that we want more acreage is so that we can build a little cottage back in the woods for silent retreats. This reminds me that we should practice more silence at home because we both love it, but we forget to do it. We let the words just run rampant.
What about you? What do you think about stillness and communication? Have you ever had much success at not speaking? Tell us your story in the comments below.
Stillness is my One Little Word this year! I am so glad to stumble upon this. I’m printing it out so I can read it before bed, which is when I’m most receptive.
Naomi recently posted..26 acts of kindness: participate in a woman’s journey to freedom (giveaway)
I crave silence at times. I have tinnitus so there is literally NEVER any silence in my life. It can be hard.
Arwen recently posted..Spock, Barbosa + Justice
Oh sweet Arwen. Sometimes I sit in my living room and all I can hear is my dang fridge. It is always making noise. But I know that when I can hear THAT, it is pretty quiet and I am satisfied. I hope you find peace with your lovely ears.
I just tell myself that it’s crickets. Me and my crickets will never be apart. LOL
Charlotte, I am like you! My writing partner is the one who must have noise on.
Arwen recently posted..Spock, Barbosa + Justice
I actually heard a song once where they used crickets as the backup singers. It was awesome.
I crave more silence but there is always action and some noise around our home. Our son can be noisiest in the middle of night when he’s not sleeping. He has autism. He likes to remain awake sometimes until mid-night or later (that’s always been his internal clock pretty much) that’s when he’s singing away to the music on youtube that he loves. He doesn’t get that when others are sleeping he should be quieter. So we learn to tune some out but it’s hard when trying to sleep. And yes even my fridge is noisy. I don’t have the TV or music on very often. Mostly I like to work in silence. I can be talker.
I don’t know if I would ever go but someone told me a few months ago about a 10 day silent meditation retreat called Vipassana. I don’t know if I could do 11+ hours of meditating a day and stay in silence for 10 days without looking or talking to anyone. But there’s something about the experience of silence that is attracting me.
I love your retirement idea… a little cottage in the woods as a silent retreat. My husband wants a little log cabin to have as his workshop one day. Your idea sounds lovely. Great post Amy.
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I would love to do a Vipassana. I think that would be so nice. Our house is often pretty quiet as well, when the TV is not on. I think that all three of us prefer it that way, which is kinda nice.
I’m so glad to have found your series Amy – I think it’s brilliant to explore the principles through the chakras!
I’ve worked hard to create a large space for silence in my life, and I think it’s one of the most nurturing things I do for myself.
Your cottage-in-the-woods dream sounds wonderful – I can imagine what lovely silence you could hold there.
Deborah Weber recently posted..My Life in 6 Words
I am super excited to make it a reality, but it might still be a few years off. If I make any progress on our goal, I will be sure and blog about it!
I usually have my time with stillness and silence in the morning when I breakfast alone. It is very peaceful.
Suzy recently posted..UBC Day 15 – Disappointments are part of life
How lovely, Suzy. I think that eating in stillness is yet another area to address!
Silence is essential for me, especially during my morning meditation. After that, I begin the day refreshed and revitalized. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for stopping by, Francene. Yes, I think that I may have been a monk or something in a previous life because the quiet life certainly suits me too. I do tend to talk a lot, so total silence is challenging, but I do love the quiet.
I have practice of stillness and silence at retreat, but I certainly need more of it in my life. My husband is a regular practitioner of Vipassana and is comfortable with silence for several days.
Corinne Rodrigues recently posted..Friendship Redefined?
Have you ever thought to do it with him, Corinne?
One thing that seems to set me apart from other writers and from most of my friends is that I live in silence–no music playing, no TV for background noise. I hear the rain outside and the refrigerator when it cuts on, and sometimes the faucet dripping if I don’t have it turned just the right way.
It is much easier to hear myself think when there are few distractions. I am uncomfortable in some relatives’ and friends’ homes where there is something blasting all the time.
Charlotte Henley Babb recently posted..More on Systems: Goal, Motivation, Conflict
Yeah, we have a few shows that we watch but generally like to keep the TV off most of the time unless we have something specific that we want to watch. No cable TV, just hulu and Netflix with our Roku. I love the sound of the rain.
This was a great post! At my Passion Parties I am always teaching couples that communication is key to a healthy relationship, but I don’t think I have ever explained HOW to communicate. Maybe I can find a way to do that.
Well, they could try silence. I believe in the Kama Sutra they teach this. Worth exploring!
I love the idea of stillness and communication together. It feels so powerful. The idea of taking our time to speak with intention is beautiful and has such a sense of grace to it. I will be mindful of this moving forward
Michele Bergh recently posted..Optimizing Images for Your Website
Me too! lol… It is certainly some advice that I could use for myself!
Amy, I, too, love how you are looking at stillness in the context of the chakras. As I reflect on your post, I am better at silence than I am at stillness. My brain is pretty active. I am grateful to have experiences in the richness of internal activity and also some experiences with stillness.
In looking at the two of them, especially as it relates to communication, I kept getting them confused with each other but they are very different, aren’t they?
I just read a blog about stillness and silence. http://thememoryforever.com/silence/
Such a different take on the topic, and if I had to choose one–I couldn’t.
One thing I know about people is that there are two kinds.
1. Those who talk to think–I’m one of them. I also include writing as my form of talking. We tend to talk quickly and without as much introspection.
2. Then there are Those who think to talk. My husband is one of those. He can come up with such deep thoughts. They are crystalline in their beauty.
Thanks for the post. Two in one day about stillness and silence. Maybe it’s the Universe trying to tell me something, or it’s just synchronicity.
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